Sunday, January 16, 2011


Day 16 ------------> Someone or something you definitely could live without.

I could definitely live without the people in life that cause drama. The people in life who are just there to give you a hard time. 
I could definitely live without a few select people; but thankfully they're out of my life already. 
I hate rude people, I wish they had been raised better. 

Saturday, January 15, 2011

i just can't live without you

Day 15 ------------------> Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Coffee duh. It's a must. 
My mommy. Even when I don't live with her, we talk every single day for hours. Impossible. 

Friday, January 14, 2011

superman, batman...why are they all men?

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down.

Every little girl looks up to her daddy as the biggest hero that ever lived. I never knew my father--lets rephrase that--my biological father. I feel that he let me down in the worst way. He was never there for me. I don't even know what the man looks like. 
Last year, I decided I needed to find him. And I did, in under three days. I contacted him..he said he wanted to know me. He lied. Again. He stopped talking to me, stopped answering my emails. Yet again, let down by this man, who obviously doesn't give two flying fucks about me. Way to go Superman, way to go. 
But, my daddy makes it all better. This man has been my father my whole life. Even my sister was like "Yeah Ryder does kinda look like dad." Except that's not possible! Hah, that made everyone laugh. He has been there for me every step of my life; he still bails me out when I need it. I am so lucky to have him, and wouldn't trade him for anything. 

Thursday, January 13, 2011

well, i'll tell you my friend, one day this world's gonna end

Day 13 ---------------> A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Honestly, though I love music, I don't think any song/artist/band has actually 'helped' me through any of my tough times. There are of course some very inspirational songs, but none that have changed my life. 

However, there are a few songs that make me smile when I'm in a bad mood. 
Come on Eileen
Right Round *all time favorite song, any version*

When I finally got rid of C, the song "Face Down" by Jumpsuit Apparatus had just come out. It was my theme song for a while. Which to Cam, was weird. 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

boobie boobie!! i see a boobie!

Day 12 --------------> Something you never get compliments on

My boobs. I use to have larger boobs, now they're itty bitty. Never a "nice cleavage" comment anymore. 
Weird to be disappointed right? 

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

you like me, you really like me

Day 11 ---------------> Something people seem to compliment you the most on

I have been complimented on my eyes and my smile quite a bit. 
In a professional manner, I get complimented on my hard work and determination. 

Monday, January 10, 2011

you're so vain

Day 10 -----------> Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

There are quite a few useless people. I call them white crayons. :) 
C--wish I had never met him. 
At the current moment I wish I had never met R. PSYCHO!
Then there are the drama queens that rule this town...not good people. 

Sunday, January 9, 2011

away at sea

Day 09 -------->Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Being that we moved a few times during my childhood, there are a lot people who I drifted from. I don't have one of those life long childhood friends like most people. 
The person I regret not keeping better contact with is my best friend Jovita. We were friends from 7th grade on. Always together. Then we moved to Oregon a little bit into my freshman year of high school. She then moved to Idaho. We wrote letters, but not nearly enough. 
She was murdered when we were 15. It was devastating. 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

no control

Day 08 -----------> Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

This is easy.
C. For a year and a half, my life was a living hell. Drinking, drugs, knife throwing, broken glasses, broken phones, broken cameras, almost broken me, bruises, just plain hell. Not to mention the constant emotional and mental hell. 
I finally got out. Finally called the cops, had the proof, he went to jail. For a whooping 60 days and a year of anger management classes. 5 year restraining order. That's it.

Friday, January 7, 2011

daddys girl

day 07 --------> someone who has made your life worth living for

my daddy has always been there for me. no matter how bad i screwed up, no matter what i have done, he is always there. I love him more than words can say. 
My little baby boy. He is my life. That's an obvious one though. 

Thursday, January 6, 2011

no question.

day 06-------------> something you hope you never have to do.

say goodbye to my son.

plain and simple

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Memories, dreams & reflections

Yes, it's a phone picture...but it's still a picture of me! 

I Love You
My amazing little man. 

Still laughing...
Oh geez...this was hilarious!! A sock clipped in his hair, sock in his mouth, no pants, a piece of paper in the other hand, and he got stuck!! 

Winter Wonderland
Our winter arrived very late this year, and I missed the 5 minutes of here are our snuggies and matching slippers. Close mother/daughter bond? Nah...


The little man had two birthday parties this year. He is so not spoiled. 


I have met a lot of amazing people this past year. Although some of them may not be in my life anymore, I am glad to have met them. 

I was inspired....

Spring Fever

Travel or Vacation

Summer Days

A day in my life
Chasing the baby is a day in the life. 

All Smiles

Autumn Harvest


September Family Birthday Celebration

Lets do it again....
This was a wonderful night. Erase the end, and it was a super freaking wonderful night. Want to repeat the night, minus the end. 

I miss you


Dress Up

Obviously Halloween



My favorite

Don't ever change

Just there!

Hopes & Dreams
Hoping for this year to be better for little man and me. That's all. 

it is possible

day 05 ----------->  something you hope to do in your life

I hope to achieve my dreams. I hope to become a pediatric oncology nurse. I hope to help those little children feel less pain and enjoy life as they can.
I hope to raise my son the best way I possibly can and better. I hope to watch him grow into a wonderful man.
I hope to live my life to the fullest. Not a lost second; not a lost moment.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

day 04----------->something you have to forgive someone for

I need to forgive him for everything that happened; it's not all his fault. 
I need to forgive her for what I think is her fault; it probably isn't. 

Cryptic enough for ya? 

Monday, January 3, 2011

forgive and forget

day 03 ---------> something you have to forgive yourself for

This one is a toughy. I don't tend to hold regret for long.
I need to forgive myself for thinking that the year of an abusive relationship was my fault. It wasn't. 
I need to forgive myself for breaking Tiggers heart for stupid reasons. 

L is for the way you look at me O is for the only one I see V is very, very extraordinary E is even more than anyone that you adore

day 02 -----------> something you love about yourself

I love how determined I am. When I set out to do something, I have to do it or I am extremely disappointed in myself. 
My passion also falls under that. 
I care about people. Really care. My friends, my family, I will do anything in the world for them, any time. 
I am honest.
I love that I love to learn. So many people hate learning new things, I live for it. 
I love to try new things; new food, new experiences, etc. Why waste life with what you already know?

hate is such a strong word

day 01-----------> something you hate about yourself

It's always great to start the year out thinking of things you don't like about yourself right? Well here goes nothing...
I hate that I am so stubborn. Being stubborn itself is fine, but I am overly stubborn, and I know this, yet I still cannot do a thing about it. 
I hate that no matter what, I cannot speak emotionally. It always turns into a logical thing; never a true emotion leaves these lips.
On that note, I hate that I keep everything in. And for an unmentionable amount of time. My walls are so high I might be a skyscraper soon.
I hate that my memory is so horrible; I mean truly horrible. It once took me almost an hour to think of what I had fed my son for lunch that day...

***Take the Stars***